We will start the preseason with as many names as I can remember. All the names below are Turkey Bowl alumn. Some are short timers, but all have felt the glory and the pain of Fisher Field. I will be adding % chance of appearances beside each name.
1. Cashman- (0%- Getting married the following day. Don't get me started on how many levels of wrong that is.)
2. Anthony- (98%- Very committed. Once played during his lunch break)
3. Adam D.- (0%- Injury bug has cut short his once dominant Turkey Bowl career)
4. Chris- (95%- There's always a 5% chance he'll either be suffering from some sort of montezuma's revenge or be sleeping one off in the clink for accidental use of rage. 100% chance of dipping in either scenario though.)
5. Me- (75%- There's a 25% chance my heart won't survive Thanksgiving)
6. Ty- (65%- Strong possibility he'll be making his triumphant return to the grid iron, unless he's working on my heart or all the PJ and Phillies post season time off has caught up to him)
7. Ben- (10%- There's a 90% chance he accidentally created new strain of black plague by not owning a trash can)
8. Dan- (15%- The younger Fugate brothers often come as a package deal. Plus Dan may be smarter than us all combined and realizes we're too old to do this anymore)
9. Ira- (85%- Depends on if he takes cyanide capsule Daniel Snyder sent all Redskin fans this season.)
10. Norm- (87%- Hopefully recovered from off season injury sustained while bench pressing porcelain cat.)
11. Mike J.- (5%- It's been a while since he's laced up. Just married, possibly retired early.)
12. Dave K.- (20%- After almost needing an entire rib cage transplant after his last appearance, this may be the best chance we have at a return visit from the former defensive MVP.)
13. Chad L.- (40%- Assuming he can avoid any over sized roadkill, there's a chance we'll be seeing Chad as long as the Flyer's don't pick him up as their 57 goalie in 3 years.)
14. Lewis- (99.9%- Almost as automatic as you can get, barring an embolism from watching Andy Reid's clock management.)
15. Motz - (15%- Jack should be old enough to sit on the sidelines and/or play, plus sleep deprivation never hurt any one's game...saddle up.)
16. Rose- (25%- He's already claiming he can't, but I'm leaving a glimmer of hope. Just pretend like this is Katrina and you're trying to get to Ty's bachelor party.)
17. Matt R- (0%- No idea what Rossello Bros. are up to.)
18. Simmons- (5%- I believe work commitments and/or severe hangovers have prevented him from much playing time. Too bad, the game could always use more Hogg relatives.)
19. Hogg- (85%- Hogg goes MIA for months and then just suddenly appears. (in my dreams) (sexually) Here's hoping his stone hands can find their way to Fisher. (as well as my heart) (and by heart I mean junk)
20. Kurtis- (19%- Can't remember when the last time we've seen this bacon connoisseur.)
21. Weaver- (13%- Has Weave ever played? Maybe back in High School? Regardless, just feel like he should be part of the list. Family golf commitments interfere. If there's poor weather he might be able to play. Although for the record, I think he should get his priorities straight. 1. Turkey Bowl 2. My feelings 3. Golf 4. Family 5. Aids in Africa)
22. Willy- (20%- Out of town. Married. With child. Historically not the greatest situation to be in and to try and play in this game. Will cover him for one play if he shows up.)
I know we've had assorted neighbors and co-workers play, but I can't think of their names. This list will be trimmed down as we get closer to our opening (only) day roster.
B.A. Doing some Roster Trimming
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