As It Was Before, So Shall It Be Again...

BREAKING NEWS

ESPN has acquired the following transcript that Motz left on Norm's answering machine.  It appears that Motz is not pleased to have lost the MVP trophy last year, or has simply lost his mind due to the Flyers early season suckage. 
 
Warning...Earmuff your children:

"Hey, wassup, you half cracker piece of raw feces.  I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks.  I want to defecate in your fancy mouth.  I'm going to slap your funny mouth.  I'm going to slap your real mother across the face with a slim jim (laughter).  Eff you, you act like a rookie.  I'll kill you."

Mike Ditka had this to say:

More to follow as this story continues to develop.

BASS! How Low Can You Go?

NOVEMBER 29

1 P.M.

FISHER FIELD

Aftermath

Before we get to some game pics, lets start backwards chronologically, like one of those fancy art movies, and get a feel how the evening ended.















Yup, that seems about right.

Strategy

When I'm talking strategy, I'm not talking about pre-game strategy...I'm talking about pre-pre-game strategy.  More specifically, what should I be eating or not eating today to maximize my enjoyment of the 2.7 metric ton of turkey, gravy, stuffing and pie that I will be getting to third base with tomorrow? 

**If you're picturing the whipped cream scene from Varsity Blues (and why wouldn't you be?), but instead of a hot co-ed slathered w/ dessert; picture the whipped cream bikini on some pecan pie, and you have a pretty clear picture of what my day will be like tomorrow.** 

Anyhow, as far as strategy for today, I think there's a couple schools of thought:

1. Eat light or nothing today.  

(well that seems unlikely)

2. Eat about twenty fiber one bars to clean out your system Lloyd Christmas style.

(many thrones will be wrecked in the coming days)

3. Go all competitive eater and stretch the gut out so you have more room for tomorrow.

(Is it me, or does that look delicious? Also, I enjoy that he's being safety conscious with the helmet.)

I suppose this will be one of life's unanswerable mysteries like the Loch Ness Monster or what's actually on that laminated Denny's menu that Andy Reid carries around. (I'd feel better if it actually had the Grand Slam specials instead of horrifically inept plays)

I've been updating the roster in the previous post, but here's the latest:

Confirmed

1. Lewis
2. Anthony
3. Norm
4. Mike E.
5. Runkle
6. Pigott
7. Cashman
8. Ira
9. Motz
10. Hogg
11. Shep (maybe)
12. Johnson (maybe)

Weather
The weather is skewing closer to 60 degrees, but it should be nice. (almost daisy duke weather)  The chance of rain keeps fluctuating between as high as 40% to as low as 10%.  Wear your rain coat just in case.  And by raincoat, I of course mean a Trojan.  I don't want to be accidentally responsible for impregnating anyone due to a freak tackling accident.  Also, I don't want your herp.  There, I said it. 

Enjoy your feasts tomorrow you animals.  But remember...pain is coming, and it's got no hair on its head, but plenty on its face*.

*everywhere else

Special Message to Motz and Lewis

Let's not have a repeat of basketball. 

Besides, Motz is already playing with a performance enhancing tooth. 

Countdown to Armageddon-Light

I'm hearing  rumblings of some big guns not being able to make this years festivities.  No worries, less people to catch me as I run wild* through your secondaries and/or ovaries.

*hobble Gump-like (with leg braces)

Anyhow, here's what we're currently working with:

Confirmed
1. Lewis
2. Anthony
3. Norm
4. Mike E.
5. Runkle
6. Pigott
7. Cashman
8. Ira
9. Motz
10. Hogg

Out/ PUP/ Work/ Geographical Disadvantaged/ Vaginal Cramps/ Etc.
1. Archfield
2. Kent
3. Williamson
4. Mike J.
5. Chad
6. Rose

Doubtful
1. Chris E.
2. Ty

Unknowns
1. Weaver (I know...golfing)
2. Kurtis
3. Simmons

If I'm forgetting any past participants, let a brother know.  I'm not talking about my brothers, they don't know shit about this game. So...I guess, just let me know.

Weather
They are calling for a balmy 54 degrees w/ a 10% chance of participation.  Better bump that up to 100%, because if it's going to be 54 degrees out, I can guarantee my nut sweat will be raining down on you like super storm sandy. 

p.s. I promise you, it will burn if you get it in your eye.  Better wear your championship-locker-room ski goggles just in case.

Details Remain the Same

Friday, November 23rd


Pizza Town Upper Allen: 11:30 AM-12:30 PM

Kickoff: 1:00 PM @ Fisher Park   Moe's rest of the day.   

Parting Thoughts   Suck it.