Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Strategy

When I'm talking strategy, I'm not talking about pre-game strategy...I'm talking about pre-pre-game strategy.  More specifically, what should I be eating or not eating today to maximize my enjoyment of the 2.7 metric ton of turkey, gravy, stuffing and pie that I will be getting to third base with tomorrow? 

**If you're picturing the whipped cream scene from Varsity Blues (and why wouldn't you be?), but instead of a hot co-ed slathered w/ dessert; picture the whipped cream bikini on some pecan pie, and you have a pretty clear picture of what my day will be like tomorrow.** 

Anyhow, as far as strategy for today, I think there's a couple schools of thought:

1. Eat light or nothing today.  

(well that seems unlikely)

2. Eat about twenty fiber one bars to clean out your system Lloyd Christmas style.
(many thrones will be wrecked in the coming days)


3. Go all competitive eater and stretch the gut out so you have more room for tomorrow.

(Is it me, or does that look delicious? Also, I enjoy that he's being safety conscious with the helmet.)

I suppose this will be one of life's unanswerable mysteries like the Loch Ness Monster or what's actually on that laminated Denny's menu that Andy Reid carries around. (I'd feel better if it actually had the Grand Slam specials instead of horrifically inept plays)

I've been updating the roster in the previous post, but here's the latest:

Confirmed

1. Lewis
2. Anthony
3. Norm
4. Mike E.
5. Runkle
6. Pigott
7. Cashman
8. Ira
9. Motz
10. Hogg
11. Shep (maybe)
12. Johnson (maybe)

Weather
The weather is skewing closer to 60 degrees, but it should be nice. (almost daisy duke weather)  The chance of rain keeps fluctuating between as high as 40% to as low as 10%.  Wear your rain coat just in case.  And by raincoat, I of course mean a Trojan.  I don't want to be accidentally responsible for impregnating anyone due to a freak tackling accident.  Also, I don't want your herp.  There, I said it. 

Enjoy your feasts tomorrow you animals.  But remember...pain is coming, and it's got no hair on its head, but plenty on its face*.

*everywhere else

No comments: