Update

PLAYING:

1. Lewis
2. Anthony
3. Rose
4. Motz
5. Norm
6. Big E
7. Ira
8. Me
9. Hoggzilla

RIDING THE PINE:

1. Willy
2. Chad
3. Weaver
4. Ty
5. Rossello Siblings

UNKNOWNS:

1. Simmons
2. Kurtis
3. Ben
4. Dave K
5. Mike J
6. Wes

What I'm seeing is a possible lean year for participants. What I'm also seeing is domination on my part as I don't see many favorable mach ups. The only other definite I know is whoever is QB on the Hogginators team, your completion percentage dropped about 75%. Good to see Stoney in the mix as always.

FORECAST

Pretty much the same as last time. Sunny. High of 45. Two pulled labia's and a sprained hymen.

OTHER DETAILS

Pizza Town @ noon.

Fisher Field @ 1 p.m.

Me needing oxygen @ 1:01 p.m. Correction...12:05 p.m. (that stromboli will be sitting heavy)

REMINDERS

Pain is coming.

1 Weak

It may appear to those with a strong understanding of the english language that I mispelled "Week" in the title, as there is one week left till the big game. Well, asshats I was making a punny, in the sense that it is motherloving weaksauce that we currently have a monster 4 or 4 game scheduled for next Friday. Is this the TURKEY BOWL or the annual Central Pennsylvania Hairdressers punt, pass, and kick competition????!!!!!


Ladies, we need to step it up, or should I just bring my croquet set...perhaps a little bocce ball? So yeah...if you can't figure out this Matrix-like technology, please just send an email if you or someone you know is playing. Also, someone make one of those traps where you prop a box up with a stick and put some bacon and Oakland A's paraphernalia under it...we need to hear from the Hogg.

MEN of HONOR:

1. Lewis
2. Anthony
3. Rose
4. Motz
5. Norm
6. Big E
7. Ira
8. Me

Cuckolded Men (those we haven't heard from):

1. Hogg
2. Ty
3. Kurtis
4. Mike J
5. Dave K
6. Ben
7. Simmons
8. Rose Siblings
9. Wes

Cockblocked (those who will be MIA):

1. Willy
2. Chad
3. Weaver (unless it's raining)

As always, anyone I'm forgetting, please get the word out. Feel free to invite a friend. I'd say no douchebags allowed, but we've been letting Norm play for years, so how can we really enforce that? (wink)

Extended Forecast:

PAIN

also:

OTHER WEEKEND ACTIVITIES: (EDITED FOR UPDATES)

1. Tonight (Friday, Nov. 21)- Mechanicsburg H.S. Football Playoff Game- Contact Deluca for more info
2. Tomorrow (Saturday, Nov. 22)- PSU vs. MSU freeze fest 08...temps in the 20's...windchill in the teens, my testicles hiding behind my liver.
3. Post game (Friday, Nov.28)- Moe's, where the monster record tab of last year will try to be broken.
4. Hockey? (Saturday, Nov. 29)- 2 p.m. Park n' Ride Mechanicsburg. (tentative)
5. Rock Band- @ Rossello's - 24-7/ 365

Any other gatherings or parties, lets get them up here.

Listen Up

We're getting ridiculously close to the main event with little to no smack talk. It's a travesty. I'd mark it some where between the Holocaust and the Challenger Explosion. Those who want to leave comments, but don't have google or blogger accounts still can. Just click anonymous as the identity option. Leave your name in the comment field if you want us to know who you are. Anonymous smack talk (aka pussy talk) will not be tolerated. ***EDIT- This feature is now working!***

ROLE CALL

Please take a second and announce your intentions of playing or not playing so we have an idea of what we're looking at. If I have to go grab some hobo's (scabs) to fill the rosters I will. I know Willy and Chad are no go's. (sick) Anyone else?

CONTINUALLY EDITED- To Update those sacking up for another year of torture:

1. Rose
2. Norm
3. Mike E.
4. Lewis
5. Chris
6. Ira
7. Michael Theodore
8. Anthony

I can assume others are coming, but won't put their names down for fear of making an ass out of you all. I'm already an ass, so I don't worry about it. Those with contacts to Wes and some of the other guys that play send the emails or a link to the site. As always let me know about siblings, cousins, and any other surprise guests we may get. Thanks.

RULE CHANGE
It appears that the modified tackle/flag rule change will be adopted. I have 16 red and 16 yellow flagged belts. They are the kind that the entire belt comes off, not just the flag. To recap the rule:

To sack a QB behind the line of scrimmage, or down a receiver after a reception- Tackle

Running plays, or plays where a QB scramble past line of scrimmage- Flags.

THE TRADITIONS
Lunch at Pizza Town at noon? Any other ideas? Arrive at Fisher by 1 p.m. ready to go.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Start stretching that labia ladies. From what I understand, you don't want any tearing down there.

Juking the Stats

I have an archive of Turkey Bowl related email on my work computer. The Township has warned us not to email or do anything on the computer that we wouldn't want on the front page of the Patriot News. I felt it would be a good time to go clean out the closet.

Some time between when the emails where first sent/ received and now, software has gone and deleted some of the emails for various reasons. Below are the stats:

REASON::= PROFANITY

• Me- 8
• Ira- 1
• Williamson- 3
• Chris- 1

REASON::= SEXUAL DISCRIMINATION

• Anthony- 2
• Williamson- 4
• Me- 1
• Chris- 1

REASON::= RACIAL DISCRIMINATION

• Me- 2 (not the Erno you'd expect to find here...perhaps I was responding to one of Chris's emails...hmmm...)

Although we lost a lot of creative gold, the system is not fool proof. Somehow this gem was left untouched:

This is DJ Slim once again at WPL40. As soon as The Big E left a new special guest just walked in. Rossellooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good to see you again Rossi, how r u doin?

"muff, buff, shuff, luff."

What was that? It seems that Rossi can't talk right now. He has something
in his mouth. For all you listeners out there, it looks a little
white or creamish in color. Looks like he has a little in his left eye too.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm no rocket scientist but I think I know what it
is........It appears he has a little Strock DNA on him. That's it, I'm getting
off the air.BEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

end of broadcast

Oh and this one....guess "fag" is no longer a sexual discriminated word:

I personally have no idea what the hell you were saying in that e-mail. In my simple and conservative mind, I think you have now topped Rossello's gayness by using words like that. I can't speak for us all, that's just my opinion. FAG!!!!

No need to tell you which Shakespearean mind penned that magic.